::Screams my head off:: When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Right... to be downright honest, at this point and time my life is so full of lemons that the acid is burning through my skin. >.>;; Speaking of burns... yesterday was an incident with cappuchino and my hand((the latter of which ended up bright red and burnt)).

Anyway, my life right now is hectic. My grandfather is in the hospital doing terrible, I ended a relationship, and everything's sort of falling apart. We were called out of school during third period my grandfather was doing that bad. He had a 1% chance to survive the surgery he had ((and thankfully did)), but there's still a long road of recovery ahead of him. Honest we don't know what's going to happen, but I'm leaving it in God's hands and can only pray that grandpa's suffering is taken away.

As for the relationship...I honest don't feel like going into it. Things have been far too bitter for me to truly fathom the depths of my feelings. To put it bluntly, I am single and hurt beyond reason. I still can only pray that he helps himself, because he'll never be able to survive if he continues to act like this.

Instead of going into the negative things of this week, I choose to go with the positives. My friends have been extraoridnary during this time for me. Even people I have believed to only see me as annoying have given me excessive support. I feel clingy right now, because I am in need. I want a guy... ((taller and bigger - shoulder wise)) to hold me and never let go. That's only because I'm suffering from this breakup and family emergency though. I'll get over it eventually. To be honest, I can't wait to find that Mr. Right. But...at the same time I can. The only thing that really hurt me about my last boyfriend was the fact that he wasn't a virgin. And to be downright honest...that's what I'm really looking for. A boyfriend that is((even by an inch or two)) taller than I am and a VIRGIN. I need someone that has the same moral values as I do. It doesn't matter if he doesn't like anime, but I will find him. One day. So you hear that?! My future honey...sweetheart...I will find you, and when I do, I'll make you the happiest man in the world.

Things are slowly starting to look up. I feel so much better as of lately and I pray I will continue to. Everybody that's been there, "Thank you." From the bottom of my heart I thank you. And if you ever need anything, just hesitate to ask.

On a side note, PRAY I GET MY JOB! Please...pray. I would love to start working. Now..I have to cringe and go watch the One Piece dub. Gah, what I do for my man... ((SANJI-SAMA ^-^)).

XOXOXOXO! Talk to you all soon ^-^.

mood: anxious music: The Click Five - Just the girl I'm looking for